10 Great Reasons Not To Become A Snowboarder
1. You will probably die.
You think you’re just going to pick up boarding straight away and ride like a pro within a few days. Well you’re not. You’re more likely to slide uncontrollably down the mountain, fall into a crevice, and die.
2. You are going to look like a fashion victim.
Most snowboarders look like fashion victims. Chances are, you’ll be no exception.
3. You will probably kill other people.
New snowboarders soon find themselves in a high mountain environment, fresh from the city, with no skills or experience. Here you’ll probably set off an avalanche killing other people.
4. You may well go to prison.
See 3.
5. You will hurt yourself.
The majority of ski physicians agree that snowboarding carries a higher risk of injury than alpine skiing - between 3-4 injuries per thousand boarder days (as compared to 2-3 per thousand days for alpine skiing injuries.)
6. You will be traveling down the side a mountain at high velocity with both feet strapped firmly to the same piece of wood.
Have a think about this for a while. Going fast, through mountainous terrain, strapped to a piece of wood. Are you sure about this?
7. Skiing is much more versatile than snowboarding.
Yes really. If you’re in the back country and hit a flat bit of mountain on a board, you’re screwed. You will have to walk.
8. Snowboarders are commonly known as ‘Gays on Trays”!
Perhaps you’re happy with that label.
9. You don’t just become a snowboarder.
Having spent five days boarding in the Alps you probably think you are a boarder. You are not. You are a tourist, now go home and back to work. Real boarders live in the mountains, or hospitals.
10. It’s going to cost you.
When you have an accident and break a limb, high on the mountain and have to call a helicopter, you’ll find yourself with a hefty bill. Maybe a few grand. That will take the wind out your sails. Man.
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January 18th, 2008 at 11:39 am
I couldn’t have written a better list - mine would have carried the title “10 reasons why you need snowboarding insurance” -
January 18th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
OK, This is a two planker site trying to convince young or new boarder to your side. One and only one reason why snow boarding is better than skiing.
1. If you can snow board you have the skill to wake board,surf, and skate board. (everyone knows surfing is cool, and snow boarding is surfing a mt.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
At least you won’t be a ponce in a day-glo all in one piece with a ridiculous ‘comedy’ hat. Oh and also snowboard boots are far more sensible an and off the slopes.
January 18th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
2 plankers - the mountains are not yours alone
January 19th, 2008 at 3:25 am
Grow up you cunts.
January 22nd, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Ski’s are the most gay thing since vaseline!
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:33 pm
[…] saw this post up on Chamonix.eu.com listing - ahem - “10 great reasons not to become a […]
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Very funny… cough….
http://www.hittingkickers.com/10-great-reasons-to-be-a-snowboarder/
January 23rd, 2008 at 10:49 pm
[…] saw this post up on Chamonix.eu.com listing - ahem - “10 great reasons not to become a […]
January 23rd, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Wrong. Camo pants is the gayest thing since vaseline
January 28th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Pricks with sticks, Wanks with planks.
February 4th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Isn’t it funny how you needed snowboarding to come along before you could figure out you could spin.
Sidecut? What’s that?
Isn’t it funny how skiers are moving onto Burton, Bonfire, Grenade and other “gays on trays” clothing?
Skiing was a stagnant “Hooray Henry” sport for about 50 years until snowboarding came along and gave it a kick up the ass. Face it, you’re trying to get fun out of an ancient form of transport and our sport is created solely for fun.
The main thing that pisses you off is that now all the middle classes are there to hear you when you bitch into your gluhwein about the “proles”.
Go buy another comedy jester hat.